Can anybody tell me what's Wrong with this picture?

There's a scene in the 1993 Michael Douglas film Falling Down at a fast food restaurant, Douglas' character William Foster (D-Fens) attempts to order breakfast, but they have switched to the lunch menu. After an argument with the manager, Foster pulls a gun and accidentally fires into the ceiling. After trying to reassure the frightened employees and customers, he orders lunch, but is annoyed when the burger looks nothing like the one shown on the menu.

I can't be the only one who after ordering my meal returns to a table and in peeling back the grease proof wrap often quotes that film "Can anybody tell me what's wrong with this picture?" That juicy yet upright looking patty in the photo looks nothing like wilted Big Mac sitting there in its box, McDonalds, I'm loving it.(not)

Just like the movies employ green screen to edit out the stuff they don't want you to see, the wires holding up the floating spaceship, a Jedi Knight swinging a reflective stick at tennis balls on broom handles and 2014 telephone boxes in a 1940's movie it will come as no surprise to know that in order to make you believe high street retailers and brands are also employing a few tricks up their sleeves to get you to purchase their wares.

We've all seen the ridiculous airbrushed ads of actresses wrinkle free foreheads and models 20" waistlines in glossy lifestyle mags but for the most part this 'fake' advertising is going on all around you, how many Big Macs would McDonalds actually sell if they promoted what they actually served you?

And what about that fluffy looking misty effect Jane Fonda face cream ad, ol Hanoi Jane is knocking on for 76 years old and she sure as shit hasn't got a face as smooth as a Porsche 911 wheel arch without a surgeons help (several times apparently). No sir, take that surgery enhanced look away and she's probably a saggy old queen with more wrinkles than Yoda's feet. Wrinkly old women don't sell face cream, old wrinkle free women sell face cream. That firm smooth look old film stars have is normally because of a substance called hydroxypatie, a material used in implants because of its proximity to human bone. it's the key component of the injectible filler Radiesse.

A politician in England, Jo Swinson, headed up a complaint to the ASA (Advertising Standards Authority) regarding a L'Oreal Paris ad featuring the 41-year-old Rachel Weisz. The Revitalist Repair 10 product claimed to target 10 signs of aging but consumers felt that Weisz' complexion in the ad was a little too baby soft for their liking. (there's that soft fuzzy focus at work again).

According to a report in the Telegraph, a rep from the ASA said, "Although we considered that the image in the ad did not misrepresent the luminosity or wrinkling of Rachel Weisz's face, we considered that the image had been altered in a way that substantially changed her complexion to make it appear smoother and more even." The conclusion was that the supposed result you could get from the cream was exaggerated, and therefore the ad is misleading. Ironically the same newspaper revealed that a similar L'Oreal Paris ad featuring Jane Fonda also received complaints from consumers, but they were rejected by the ASA. Apparently it looks like the surgeon has done a bang up job.

Of course photographers have to tweak things a bit, under the harsh lighting conditions required for photo shoots those battery driven lights pump out some serious heat so more often than not 'tricks of the trade' as they are known come in to play. In cases of food photography where perishable food only stays fresh for a short while photographers have to employ other techniques to get around this, motor oil replaces syrup on pancakes, fruit is shined with hairspray, glue replaces milk. But why do we accept it as representing what we're buying?, There's hair advert on TV with a guy talking to camera and his young pretty late twenties goddess of a wife is putting on her sling backs in the background, "I don't know how Kate does it, he says " two kids, a full time job and yet her hair"..blah,blah,blah - even my wife shouts abuse at that. 'Two fucking kids and job!?, no way she looks like she just stepped out of a salon, try 24 hours in my shoes bitch!"

It's like the pension and health plans you see being promoted by healthy looking retired people on TV, "no salesman will call and you won't be asked any personal medical questions", that's all good and everything but it would be a lot more believable if the actor playing the retired old fella wasn't in an episode of Doctor Who as the "professor" a couple of weeks back. You mean he's not really got that health plan?, and what, that's not even his garden he pruning the heads off roses in, holy shit who do I believe now?.
But alas we do, women will still buy face creams that apparently turns them into 20 year hard bodies, men will buy hair regrow products because it's not really spray paint (yes it is) and old people still want that carriage clock free gift with the health plan because the old fella in the garden said it was fine, and he looked perfectly healthy.

Pulling the wool over our eyes is par for the course when you're nothing more than sheep.

WATCHES - Its a guy thing

Watches, without doubt are a guy thing, you know what I'm talking about, chunky bezels and cool coloured detailing, not to mention thick bracelet straps that could easily fracture your wrist just waving goodbye to your aunt.

The big problem I have with watches are that they are a very personable item to wear, I use the word 'problem' merely to underline the ability of owing more than one but only being able to really wear one at a time. I only have two wrists and the thought of wearing two watches just to show off more than one is just plain odd. I mean Bernie Madoff owns 17 Rolexes and seven Cartiers for a start but why?

Its a frustrating problem because I wear the same watch every day, I own four but 99% of the time I wear the one bought for me by my parents for my 18th, ( I'm 44 now)  a Rolex Oysterdate.
My stepfather has amassed a huge collection of watches, probably more than 60, some are genuine and some are 'copies' (we don't like the word "fake").

Let me put it to you this way, ever heard of Jorg Gray?, nope, me neither but this relatively unknown watch brand has seen its sales of its Jorg Gray 6500 Chronometer rise in the millions throughout the United States.  It hasn't done it through marketing, it hasn't invested in a massive social media campaign, doesn't do TV or radio on a regular basis but one thing made millions of Americans go out and buy one - it's President Obama's watch.

Originally the Jorg Gray 6500 was designed for the Secret Service but was presented to Obama by one of his Secret Service team as a Birthday gift, now this watch enjoys the best personal accolade it could possibly get, sitting on the left wrist of one of the most powerful men in the free world.

Watches are aspirational, what you wear as a timepiece speaks volumes about the sort of activities and interests you're into, guys don't like to drive wimpy looking cars as much as they don't like to wear a cheap nasty and flimsy looking watch on their wrist if they are out to impress. Watches are a social barometer, the alpha male will have a watch which in weight alone could kill a mountain lion or in thickness could stop a snipers bullet. ( don't try that at home), its the wolf pack mentality and creates a heirachy  much akin to the comparing of business card fonts and paper thicknesses by Patrick Bateman in Brett Easton Ellis' brilliant novel American Psycho. Incidentally Bateman's choice of watch was a Rolex Datejust and for the film Rolex agreed that anyone in the film could wear their watches except Bateman (hence the famous line from the book "Don't touch the Rolex" had to be changed to "Don't touch the watch"). 

Brands are and remain the quintessential social acceptance benchmark , everything from an Audemars Piguet to a Swatch, Rolex to a Fossil or the dressy but functional Armani and Gucci affairs. – some designs reveal an element of extravagance but which in this day and age is deemed perfectly acceptable. Gold rope chains and sovereign rings are male jewellry we'd all rather ignore but its the watch on your wrist which attracts the most attention to your status.

Men are nerds, we all like a bit of tech, especially when we know we can wear it everyday, take the Brietling Emergency watch for example, when this was introduced to explorers and the jet set daredevils in the 1990's it boasted a built in emergency transmitter with a 121.5 MHz signal that could be detected by rescue craft within 100 miles of the watch. It's latest version the Emergency II also transmits at 406.04 MHz, a frequency that is now monitored by orbiting satellite. When you buy a Brietling Emergency watch you also buy into an agreement, namely if you yanked on the transmitter activator and the emergency situation goes away, the beacon signal can be terminated. Under the terms of the agreement for use the beacon needs to be rearmed at the factory after one use. Another reason not to set it off lightly is the $100,000 fine assessed by the Federal Aviation Administration, plus search-and-rescue costs, that go with a full-scale false rescue. 

Watches suffer the same counterfeit problems as any other functional and desirable item in fashion, its no secret that the fake watch industry is a multi-million dollar cash cow for the companies flaunting replicas and unlicensed copies onto the black market in destinations like China, Malaysia Morocco, and Turkey. Copies can be extremely hard to spot such are the incredible likenesses and finishes available, and, while its tempting to buy a replica Rolex to fit in with the city crowd it doesn't give you the same satisfaction as wearing a genuine one.
Rolex USA is starting to crackdown on counterfeiters blatantly imitating and selling its products for huge profits on the internet. It has won nearly $160,000 in court after taking the owner of two websites selling fake Rolex watches to court in New York. 

Gabriel Alvarez had been running deviousdesires.net and deviousdesires.com that sold fake Rolex watches for about $100 as well as other counterfeit goods masquerading as products from brands including Breitling, Armani, Bulgari and Chanel. The site openly advertised that the goods it sold were fakes.


Rolex USA first filed a lawsuit against Alvarez and won a financial settlement of nearly £100,000 in damages and fees. It also secured an injunction against the sites which a judge ruled must now be cancelled or transferred to Rolex, and that any remaining counterfeit products bearing Rolex branding must be destroyed.

Watch companies are much like car companies, they update and refresh model lines yearly and always spend big on advertising, in fact pick up any copy of GQ magazine and I guarantee you'll see a page with Leonardo DiCaprio holding his Tag in a most unusual way (wrapped around his fist).

The industry's big watch brands will invest anywhere between 10 and 25% of their revenue in advertising including examples like the one above in a bid to gain market share and target their core audience, males aged 18-35. In Tags case having Leonardo promote your watch makes it instantly desirable and aspirational for this exact market.

Take G-Shock too for example, The first G-Shock was the 1983 Casio DW-5000C designed by an engineer working for Casio named Kikuo Ibe " around the triple ten concept: the concept for a watch that has a 10 year battery life, is water resistant to 10 bar, and can survive a 10m fall onto a hard surface. 200 prototypes were tested by dropping them from rooftops, or third story windows. The G-Shock series is a brand particularly favored by US military personnel for its robust features and design.

Nothing says Alpha male watch aficiondo than James Bond, the tuxedo wearing super spy with a licence to kill. In Ian Flemming's novels James Bond wore a Rolex Oyster Perpetual Submariner (with phosphorus dials OHMSS). The model used in the movie was the Rolex Submariner 6538A. The Rolex Submariner is the watch that Sean Connery wore as the dashing secret agent. In the film On Her Majesty's Secret Service, James Bond (George Lazenby) wears a Rolex Submariner as well. When Connery returned to the role of Bond in Diamonds are Forever, he was once again seen wearing the Rolex Sub. 

Army guys, Spy guys how about Space guys?, NASA's choice of watch for its Apollo space program to put man on the moon was the Omega Speedmaster.A specially created velcro fastening strap allowed it to be worn over the cumbersome looking sleeves of an insulated Space suit.(below)

Whatever you're desired look and choice you simply can't beat a solid bit of mental on your wrist and thankfully men's watches are as popular now as they ever been.

WORLD CUP BARBECUE TIPS

WORLD CUP BARBECUES

Suns out, Guns out and in preparation for those World Cup gatherings you're going to have here are some great Barbecue tips that'll crown you king of the grill.

ICE ICE BABY - The golden rule you absolutely cannot break is ice cold beer, serving warm beer is a crime never to be forgotten and one you'll be ridiculed for eons after the 90 min whistle has blown -  and lets face it, with the World Cup every four years its not like you haven't had enough time to prep for it.

Quick cold tip: Waiting for the ice to arrive but need to get beers chilled fast? Wet a paper towel and wrap it around your bottle of beer and place it in the fridge, in 10-15 mins it'll be ice cold.

Keep it cold tip: Using a cooler filled with ice or an ice bucket or tub? - Add one cup of salt and three cups of water before you dump the ice in. This will equilibrate in temperature in a process called freezing point depression with a temperature that'll get down to around the minus 10 degrees mark. The process works by keeping water molecules away from each other and stops them from freezing or melting.

And because the liquid naturally flows around your beer, it will do a much better job of keeping it cool than sticking a lump of ice on top of it.




GET YOUR FLAME ON - The biggest mistake you can make is waiting until all your guests have arrived before you've even got your flame on, for traditional charcoal barbecues you need to light at least 20 mins before guests arrive. For coal briquettes you need these to turn ash white with a decent orange glow for heat before cooking food and for them to be able to kill off any bacteria found in raw meat. Evenly distribute the coals or charcoal safely with a poker so that you can cook the food with a relatively even spread of radiated heat but avoid spreading too wide as the coals will lose their heat quicker.

Flavor tip:Wood chips from hard wood trees such as cherry,citrus, apple will add a sweet flavor to cooked meats when the smoke starts going. Oak is great for beef or lamb. As a general rule use hardwoods for adding smokey flavors. Woods such as Walnut and Mesquite are heavy so should be mixed with other wood chip variants.

DIY flavor tip: Water soak wood that you can turn into wood chips for 30 mins and drip dry before placing on charcoal or coal barbecues, add orange juice or apple juice to the water soak to create a sweeter smoke. Alternatively add a dash of rum which will promote a caramel flavor. Ideally you want the wood to smoulder not burn hence soaking the wood first.




GIVE IT A RUB - Rub is basically salt, sugar and pepper, so many people forget to add seasoning to meat before they barbecue it, the base of your rub starts with those three basic ingredients. The salt and pepper adds your standard seasoning and sugar caramelizes creating that sweet stickiness to the outer meat surface. Creating your own rubs and seasoning is entirely down to what you want to use and what type of flavours you're looking for, adding spices like ginger, cinnammon, chilli powder and garlic powder also adds dynamic flavouring to your rubs.

Rub Tip:  let your meat sit for awhile after applying a rub to both sides. If you want the best flavor, cover the meat and let it sit overnight in the fridge. 

Sweet Tip: Use brown sugar to add a caramel sweetness to your ribs or pork meats. Increase or decrease the amounts you add to the rub, 3 table spoons of sugar to one and a half of salt, one and half of pepper. Garlic -  aim for around one teaspoon for rubs.



PREP THE NIGHT BEFORE - This isn't a military operation but a successful plan always had good preparation. For gatherings like barbecues you need to prep, buy your ingredients,beers and make sure you've got things like seating and side dishes all sorted out before your guests arrive. For meat you want to add any rubs the night before cooking and then bring the meat up to room temp before you cook it. Don't forget to add non alcoholic drinks to the chiller for those driving.
Clean any garden furniture and maybe think about hosing the patio or decking for a scrub up, no one likes standing on a fox turd when eating a hotdog.

Prep Tip: soak your hard wood if creating wood chips and allow time for drip dry well before cooking. Prepare for garden insect pests like common garden midges and stock up on The Soft & Fresh Dry Oil Body Spray from Avon, not designed as a bug repellent but an internet fave which is even used by the Marines.

Appetisers: prep some easy appetizers the night before or the morning of that you can easily whack in the fridge Guacamole and chips is an easy one check out this recipe here




SALADS & SIDES - You've got the meat but what about the sides, okay so guys aren't heavily into salads but rather than having a barbecue that looks like a Zombie meat feast cookout add some simple sides to freshen up the dishes, things like sweet salads, fruit salads and slaws are a great addition to adding some texture and colour to the dark brown meats basking on your plate.
Slaws are also cheap and very easy to make - check out a great recipe here which serves 8 people.

Salads & sides tip: Think cole slaw needs mayonnaise? Nope. Classic Creamy Cole Slaw uses a bit of cream and malt vinegar (the acidic nature of the vinegar naturally thickens the cream to dressing-like consistency) to dress shredded cabbage.

Fruit salad tip: Strawberries, apricots and orange segments liven up salads with a fruity twist. Just because its salad doesn't mean lettuce and carrot.




MEAT AND THE MAN - Barbecues for large groups of people aren't cheap, if you're lucky some of the group will offer to bring something, but this usually equates to liquid refreshment more than the food.

Chicken quarters and thighs are inexpensive as opposed to breast meat, Lamb neck is also cheaper than lamb cutlets or other cuts, Brisket is a great meat for barbecues due to the fat content which adds great flavor. Buying direct from the high street butcher is also going to save you money, supermarket meat can be hit or miss and is nearly always much more expensive to buy. 

Ribs are awesome if cooked right and a relatively cheap alternative to steaks. Chuck steaks are a particular cut that's also cheaper to buy but talk to your butcher about the cuts he can provide first. For Pork, opt for Pork shoulder, it's one of the cheaper cuts you can get and still great for grilling. Turkey is often overlooked for barbecues and also a great cost saver for large groups of people. The important thing about your barbecue meat is you get what you pay for, cheap and cheerful keeps the bill low but ideally you don't want to scrimp on the quality of the meat, invest in good cuts of meat for your barbecue and the world cup is an added entertainment bonus.

Meaty Tip: make sure Chicken comes to room temp before cooking, if its too cold on the inside the chicken won't cook through, alternatively cook in your oven and finish off on the barbecue.

Skewer Tip: only put one kind of meat on a skewer, it means you'll only have to worry about one cooking time, chicken cooks faster than beef and mixing meats can lead to burnt offerings.


Need a handy barbecue Cooking guide? - Use the chart below

Zombies Ate Your Business Model

In a crazy month that saw Vietnamese games developer Dong Nguyen pull Flappy Bird from the iOS and Android marketplaces, Cliff Belszinski proclaim that “he’ll never publish another disc based game for the rest of his life” and Ken Levine decide to close Irrational Games for a "small entrepreneurial endeavor at Take-Two" it’s a wonder that the word “epiphany” isn’t trending right now.

If you had asked me to predict the next five years in video gaming five years ago, the blank expression on my face at the time would have probably told you all you need to know. Could anybody predict that an unfinished game with no marketing about surviving in a Zombie infected wilderness would make the creator a cool $5.1 Million dollars in 24 hours? More surprisingly could anyone predict that Zombies would trend as long as they have in a market saturated with them?

As Bob Dylan once sang, The Times, They are a changin’, to be able to predict where gaming is going is no easy task, it’s simply moving so fast. What I will say though is that I’ll be  as bold enough to predict that PC gaming will be bigger in the next 2 years than it has ever been and I’ll cite RUST and DAY Z as two examples of why I say that. I’ll even go as far as saying that console gaming as we’ve come to know and love in all its ‘scratchy disc’ shenanigans is coming to an end and the role of digital and direct to consumer is now the single biggest business model that people in the games industry should learn like their life depended on it.

When the Magnavox Odyssey was launched in 1972 it was the world’s first videogame console, it was the first home console to introduce game cards, removable circuit boards that worked in a very similar way to how ROM cartridges did for Atari’s consoles which followed it. For 42 years gamers have relied on read only content on cartridge or disc to play console games, that’s almost half a century, so it should come as no surprise to any of us that a change is now due. I believe that perhaps one day it’s not too far-fetched to imagine that we will establish a single format digital home console like device that will host 100+ players in multiplayer. As for the current format holders, perhaps both Sony and Microsoft will no longer be the separate competitors they are today but combined in business to deliver innovative and even more cutting edge gaming experiences that engage players on multiple levels.

It’s fair to say that we are seeing a massive shift in the current games industry, one that removes the traditional developer / publisher relationship that many of us have come to know. Sony and Microsoft rolled up their sleeves to duke it out for another round of battle for the hardcore gamers willing to drop serious cash on a disc based next gen console, the remainder of the current gen owners are busy downloading Gigabyte heavy patches for games that everyone expected to be ‘fit for purpose’.

Truth be told the gaming consumer has never had as much freedom and choice as he does now. Gaming is an industry that is as volatile as it is diverse with games now very much a part of our culture across many different devices and formats. There are no allegiances anymore as consumers simply jump from one format to another, one brand to another just as long as they can get their gaming fix. The transitional shift we are seeing is in part caused by the rapid increase in technology and digital ready mobile devices from smart phones to tablets and additionally direct to consumer distribution networks like Steam which are able to deliver digital only products to those willing to pay for them. This shift is putting more creative and publishing power into the hands of the developer than we seen in the last decade of videogames.

Publishers willing to stay in the disc publishing model know that in order to stay the fight they also need to create robust digital online businesses at the same time just to stay relevant.

The bedroom coders, the YouTube video-bloggers and self-published entrepreneurs are the new jet set, they’re the guys calling the shots in an industry that is constantly changing and adapting to the advances in consumer tech and lifestyle habits. However, all this comes at a price, discoverability and over saturation are the danger areas now. While many studios are deciding to cut out the traditional publishing relationship to go it alone many are finding that all important link to the consumer a tricky skill set to get right.

 It would be easy to assume that Publishers are no longer relevant given the spate of indie success stories and direct to consumer aspects we now see (Day Z) but to discredit their relevance in putting a game in front of potential consumers is dangerous thinking. Not all developers understand the complexity of managing player communities, media buying, transmedia and press relationships, tasks of which publishers perform on a day by day basis. To even attempt to put something online with little or no social aspect to its awareness campaign is product suicide.

Longevity is key, no longer is the focus now aimed at day one numbers at retail, now the complexities of the market are focused on how developers and publishers can retain their audiences for months, even years. While many could interpret this article to support a lone wolf theory that talks of developer freedom and the notion to do as you please I should hasten to add that collaboration is more important now than it has ever been. Developers are extremely sensitive about their projects to the point where they become over protective, it’s their baby, their I.P and if it doesn’t work it’s their risk. This is perfectly natural, creativity to coin the Wikipedia meaning is “a phenomenon whereby something new and valuable is created”, the key words here are “phenomenon” and “valuable”. While good developers are the technical Jedi of our industry they need to have an open mind about the marketplace and open themselves up to talking and sharing with others, including consumers as well as specialists in the industry that can help them realize their potential. We don’t even need to look at an indie developer to prove this point, When Square Enix posted its disappointing financial results for FY2013 senior executive managing director Yosuke Matsuda decided that long development turnaround times with little or no consumer feedback prior to launch was not a way to run a profitable or honest business. The publisher has now set its sights on a new business strategy designed to win the hearts and mind of gamers and developers, it’s radically overhauled its internal marketing teams to recruit talent within the free to play sector as it looks to mobilize a more robust digital outlook for its brands. Additionally, Square Enix has launched Collective, a service that Indie studios can utilize for free for advice and promotion without the need to sign up to the publisher.

In this day and age of video-gaming it pays to have many strings to your bow, it’s no longer good enough to be competent in one single skill if you want to make it in the games industry. If you’re a developer aiming to market your product directly to the consumer then it wouldn’t hurt to get a few marketing seminars under your belt to grasp the understanding of positioning product and the long tail aspects of retention and lifecycle management. If this recent power shift has taught us anything new it’s that we also need to encourage and nurture creativity before it’s even entered the market place , our educational curriculum is a prime example. The next generation of coders and creators still need to find their way in an industry that takes no prisoners.

Following in Clint Eastwoods Footsteps...

Its amazing what you find when you're digging into your hard drive, the one I have (an external Passport one) is getting on a bit now, it only works if the cable is wrapped in a certain kind of way with an elastic band, I'm guessing that either the port or the cable is well past its sell by date.
The crazy thing is I haven't backed any of it up and it contains hundreds of photos, my Navy Seal novel(in progress) and countless other files related to my Airsoft photo books over at airsoftinfidel.com.

I digress, what I wanted to share was the pics below, these were taken back in 2007 for a game called Hour of Victory released by Midway Games. The photos were taken while shooting a TV ad for a TCM movies sponsorship, the other pics are taken fromthe games press event in Austria. The clothing was hired from Angels, a London film and TV costume hire company, we decked out three actors in the original German paratrooper winter smock outfits as worn by Clint Eastwood and  Richard Burton from the film Where Eagles Dare and real weapons of WW2 were supplied by movie and TV armourer Rob Grundy.

In addition to that we held a press event at the Hohenwefern Fortress in Austria and flew all the journo's out there, this was the actual setting for the castle that Clint and co assault to get to general Canarby in the movie. The greatest thing about the press event was that on the rear side of the castle they actual have Falconry displays with birds of prey so it really is a case of Where Eagles Dare. The fortress was used for all the courtyard shots, exterior shots of a different castle were used to give it a much more dramatic appearance.
Unfortunately Hour of Victory was a dogs dinner in terms of quality video game experience, however with the TV campaign and press event we were able to roll that turd in some glitter.

Above: The key art which was a combination of illustration and photography, the real fortress is in the background. How a sniper uses a rifle wearing mittens is anyones guess?

Above: One of the models between takes, I think the M1 Thompson we were using was jamming since the actor had to cock the slide bolt on every take.

 Above: The courtyard where the Helicopter was situated in the film Where Eagles Dare.

 Above: The real Eagles daring -Falconry and birds of prey display.

 Above: The interior press event all set up with pull up banners and Xbox consoles and monitors.

Above: The scene from the film, this shot is taken above the rounded shaped clock tower you see in the top image. The sandbags are where the chairs and tables are now.

Check out this awesome blog on the film for more photo comparisons and details here

if, like me you're  a fan of the movie Where Eagles Dare, there's a great tshirt here on Zazzle which uses the all classic line "Broadsword Calling Danny Boy" the callsign for Richard Burton when he makes the radio call.

Battlefield 4 and the Wizard of Oz

Battlefield 4 and the Wizard of Oz

There's a part in the Wizard of Oz book when Dorothy and her friends meet the Wizard of Oz, he tries to put them off. Toto accidentally tips over a screen in a corner of the throne room, revealing the Wizard to be an ordinary old man working his ass off at trying to maintain a grand illusion of something he is not.

I get the feeling that something similar happened with EA in regards to the latest release in the Battlefield series of games, Battlefield 4. I talk a lot about Battlefield on here, probably more than I should but as a massive fan of the series I feel like I've been betrayed by something I've held in very high esteem for a long time.

Its no secret that there are a lot of unhappy BF4 players at the moment currently venting gallons of venom on Battlelog, EA's dedicated Battlefield blog, what should have been EA's sensational COD killer has in effect been rather a damp squib in terms of quality and functionality. 
The pomp and splendour not to mention the Hollywood inspired trailers certainly suckered a few people into parting with cash but its release has been plagued with more bugs than David Attenborough's back garden, on top of that constant crashes for PC users weren't helped by a recent distributed denial-of-service attack (DDoS attack). The DDoS attack no doubt cultivated by a disgruntled PC Jedi who decided that if he couldn't play it as intended no-one else was either.

Gamers like KravenGod 5ptsFeatured2 are a prime example of where the brand is failing - on Joystiqs comment page to the recent news patch about the PS4 patch for the game he had this to say...

 

"I already sold my copy :( its a shame a 60 dollars game on a 400 dollars console wont work for what its intended for. I couldn't play anything but team deathmatch but that only last maybe 10 minutes before crashing."

The biggest issues for me was the server freezes,crashes and game quality. A change of control system which enabled DICE to introduce commander mode for next gen and thus required a change in joypad layout didn't go down too well either. Veteran and Legacy controls are offered as alternatives to the default system in place but still change the control systems for vehicles from the triggers to the analog sticks. Another gripe is the inability to customize your soldier from the main start menu as in BF3, instead you have to burn up vital gameplay seconds to customize your player or migrate to the test range to equip your player, why you have to enter a training scenario to customize a loadout is anyone's guess.
When matches start with no sound which is absent for anywhere up to five seconds, guns spawn in with blocked up iron sights not to mention the countless server crashes.

If you are spawning in to the south East side of the Rogue Transmission map just behind the Delta objective and jump on a quad bike half of the vehicle disappears into the road.

Operation Locker suffers from severe lag when a firefight breaks out in the central section of the map to the point that its totally unplayable.

All this ranting aside it underlines the bigger problem that development teams are being pressured into delivering ambitious projects against marketing deadlines, There were 400K PS4 consoles launched day one in the UK market and 470K Xbox One consoles, add to this the need for DICE for hit day one release for next gen and supply current gen owners (its biggest market for Battlefield) a similar product you're going to need to cut corners if you can't deliver the quality. 
However,people expected a robust multiplayer system that EA's marketing division had plastered everywhere it could to anyone that would listen, the fact that BF4 sales were 68% down on last years BF3 numbers is either testament to the fact that next gen consoles have left many people undecided or they've moved on. For Battlefield to make up the shortfall it has to rely on a 70% attachment rate for BF4 on XboxOne and PS4, in my book that's a lot of pressure for a sales team trying to cut through the swathe of negativity for such a bugged product.

Sure fixes can sort a lot of those things out, some balancing and tweaking is par the course for the games industry, guns will be nerfed, servers will be balanced and the delicate massaging of player egos will continue.

For most people though I'm sure I'm not in the minority of people who expect more, who had a level of expectation where lessons should have and would've been learned long ago. EA's decision to release a Beta of BF4 only a couple of weeks prior to launch must have factored into this, DICE simply haven't had the time to sort through the issues hence the need for A 256mb patch recently (which I might add still didn't fix sound issues). Any new launch has its niggles but what we are seeing here is a complacency that as a gaming industry we'll all put up with shoddy half baked products that we can fix as we go along rather than deliver a compelling and robust player experience that supports the brand and creates a dedicated following of supporters and fans.

EA's EVP Patrick Soderlund wants to break Electronic Arts 2 year running streak of being voted the worst company in America. In a recent MCV article Soderlund mentioned that "when something like that happens, you have to sit down and ask yourselves Why people are saying these things". I'm sorry, what? - if you have no idea why people are saying things like that then clearly you are not playing your own products. You shouldn't have to sit down and wonder about it, just play and experience how utterly broken BF4 is on current gen, go on your forums, hell, go an any forum its pretty much widespread, its not just EA haters who have nothing better to do with their time, it's players who love your brands who are now putting the knife in Patrick.
Simple CRM rule - a great CRM strategy builds brand loyalty and improves your business' reputation. Satisfied customers who feel as if their needs are being met will return.

 

People aren't expecting perfect, they just want workable, they want to pay $60 for a game and get a $60 game. I used to play Battlefield3  every single night, I loved it, its only the second Xbox360 game I dropped cash on for all the DLC. After BF4 soured things I've never gone back to it, which, for me is pretty serious because I loved the balance and the group of guys I played with were a damn good laugh. I just felt I'd been let down by the sequel I simply lost the enthusiasm to put up with it anymore. The brand in my mind had lost its appeal almost overnight and I cannot be bothered with night after night of raging at the TV screen for a crashed server or latency issues and a wasted forty quid.
Even DICE Q&A has admitted on Reddit it can't cope with the testing schedule, on top of that you have EA senior management pushing for at least a weeks clearance over Call of Duty at launch. If anything BF4 needed 3 months work, it certainly required more lead time on Beta testing and it sure as hell deserves a better reaction.

Its funny, but when I play a Free to Play game that cost me absolutely nothing I have none of these issues, yet when I pay for the privilege I get no end of crap. I figured out that there's actually a reason for that, when games are free they rely on retention more than anything else, retaining players is crucial to the free to play business model so the player experience has to be excellent and nothing less. For a paid title you've already committed your cash at the till, you're in, the hook is already there until you've got the shrink wrap off at home, the money is in the account. It almost feels like there's a level of complacency with the consumer where the focus is on the pre-sell and the sale and the consumer takes second place beyond that because by the time you've put that disc into your console nobody cares what you think.

EA has a problem with its brand image it needs to fix, essentially that can only be achieved by improving the quality of the core product. Games are a competitive industry and $100 Million dollar investments, so surely that level of investment means getting it right sooner than later.
EA needs to stop dicking around trying to dethrone COD and beat release dates at the expense of product quality, unless of course it wants to continue being something it is not.

But then again, as Dorothy said "We're not in Kansas anymore".








 

5 Coffee Table Books you Must Own

My collection of coffee table books is steadily growing despite the fact I have absolutely zero room for them with the added problem in that I don't actually own a coffee table to proudly display them on. In fact my wife will let out an audible groan when she see's my mouse hovering over the "add to basket" icon when I'm on Amazon. What is a coffee table book? I hear you ask, well read on and I shall inform.

#1 THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: The Definitive Story behind the Film

My latest and greatest book purchase I've had my eye on for a while but resisted buying it due to the fact its original list price was originally around the fifty pounds mark but some spare cash and a price reduction on Amazon were two forces that combined forces nicely.
If like me you were born in the early 70's chances are you sucumbed to the Star Wars craze and even today can't resist using empty coffee mugs to talk into to perfect your party piece "No Luke I am your Father" phrase to impress the kids (okay so that's just me then). The Making of The Empire Strikes Back: The Definitive Story Behind the Film By J.W Rinzler is by far the most in depth book I've seen on the Star Wars Trilogy, Empire being my favourite of the original trilogy of films this packs a real wallop at 372 pages with some stunning content, the cover even depicts Luke and Vader in the sabre duel and clearly shows both light sabres with no visual effect.
The book is packed with some outstanding Star Wars photography and great insights on filming both on sound stages and on location, in particular are highlights of the perils of shooting in Norway for the Imperial AT AT attack on Echo base sequence (the temperature in Norway was so cold that if crew touched the cameras without wearing gloves bare skin from fingers would stick to the metal parts of frozen cameras and therefore needed to be sliced off with razor blades). The book also touches on the sometimes highly tense relationships between actors and director Irvin Kershner and the constant visits on set by banks and financiers worried about the over budget production and often problematic shoot.
I love the fact you can dive into this book anywhere and on any page find a Star Wars laden treasure trove of stories and behind the scenes images and anecdotes you probably have never seen before. There's a great story of Vaders comical entry to Echo base which didn't quite come off as planned, the ditched Wampa - Stormtrooper attack that never made the cut (with photos!) and its rammed with model makers,set pics and some great candid shots of the stars on set. Empire Strikes Back sealed its fate as probably the darkest and most standout of the 3 films but this book is testament to the raw talent and hard work that went into the film to give us the masterpiece we know and love today. Amazon currently have this listed at twenty Eight pounds, an absolute bargain for a tome as hefty and detailed at this. The Empire Strikes Back: The Definitive Story Behind the Film.

At 272 pages Gil Elvgren: All his Glamorous American Pin-ups (25th Anniversary) this is amazing value for money, I picked up mine about a year ago for just over ten pounds so this really is one of those guilty pleasures you should invest in. American artist Edward Hopper, Pin up posters, Pulp Art from the 50's and the pin up art of Vargas has always appealed to me but its Gil Elvgrens American pin up art that seals the deal for me.
While the art of Vargas is slightly more classy with a delicate and refined touch, Gils 'Technicolor Fantasy' pin up art (to coin a phrase) has always been well rounded and fruity, its naughty stocking clad girls in various states of cheeky predicament add a touch of thrill rather than run any risk of being accused of rude soft porn and it still manages to be completely harmless but with perhaps a large dose of suggestive behaviour. Pin ups have been rooted firmly in Americana, beautiful girls with gravity defying busts, slender legs and racy underwear...and a small dog by their side thrown in for good measure. Elvgrens appreciation of the female form is well catalogued with skin tones like silk and poses that sizzle with cheeky allure right off the page. It was this type of art that was given even more precedence when young World War 2 Bomber Pilots adorned the noses of their B17' Bombers with crude pin up girl murals and decals in order to personalise and humanise their machines of war - and its looking through books on nose art (Gary Valants Vintage Nose Art book is worth checking out) that I was first introduced to this type of art. This book isn't small, its a solid tome packed to the brim of some truly beautiful pin up art and with very little white space, books like this are created by people who truly appreciate this type of art but then most books by Taschen normally are substantial in both quality and content and they do publish some of the best art books. Gil Elvgren: All his Glamorous American Pin-ups (25th Anniversary)

#3 ICONS: The DC Comics and Wildstorm Art of Jim Lee



Icons: The DC Comics and WildStorm Art of Jim Lee runs at 296 pages, this one also packs a heavyweight punch. I've been a fan of Lee's for a long while, I was first introduced to both Carl Potts and Jim Lee's style of artwork when he worked on the Punisher War Journal series for Marvel Comics in 1988. While I tend to like the gritty style of John Romitta Jr with the Punisher, it was Lees work that really popped from the page for me and I've been a fan ever since. Jim Lee's other and probably much overlooked title Deathblow gets a good look in with some great Jim Lee art but its the DC era that really gets the coverage in Icons.

Lee's incredible work on Batman:Hush shows sketches, pre inked and post inked and coloured and gives a great insight into the way he works. Superman, Justice league, 100 Bullets as well as Wonder Woman and Lees work on Wildstorm are all covered. Artwork really pops and the colour and quality of the work really cements Lee's place as one of the most important men working in comics today. The book doesn't scrimp when it comes to layout either with content covering full pages and double page layouts it features a nice cross mix of page layout roughs as well as visuals but its the colour work that really jumps out. The only downside to the book is that because its primarily a DC book Lee's Punisher work isn't present, a shame considering it was Lee's bold and highly detailed style that drove the quality of the series after he took over penciller duties from Carl Potts. Superman fans are in for a treat and both the key DC heroes Bruce and Clark get equal billing with some amazing standout artworks and studies. Batman fans will get a massive kick out of this book though and its packed with some great images and even includes the Joker artwork that Jim Lee gave to the late great actor Heath Ledger.

#4 WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT: A Photographers Chronicle of the Iraq War



I love most types of photography but my interest kind of piques when it comes to photo-journalism, especially combat related photography. Its fair to say that the latest rumbles in the dust in Iraq and Afghanistan have offered up some incredible photo essays and journalism by war photographers both in print and online with images that educate us visually on modern conflict. Many years ago I bought an amazing book called "NAM" by photographer Tim Paige, Paige was a an English photographer embedded with US and Vietnamese troops during the Vietnam conflict and was wounded when he stepped on a landmine. It was his images and ability to overcome his wounds that created a level of respect for this kind of photographer. Combat photos portray the sheer terror and risk involved in capturing images we would otherwise not be exposed to.Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (WTF) is one such  book and is a sometimes moving chronicle of Photographer Ashley Gilbertsons work while embedded with American troops.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: A Photographer's Chronicle of the Iraq War is a book that covers both the deadly environment of troops in combat but also cuts deep to the bone by showing some powerful photos of the devastation and pain that armed conflict brings to communities. Content and layout wise its probably one of the better books on the market with a good balance of photography that tells a more involved story.
What I like most is that in his own words the book explains much about the images that Gilbertson was taking at the time of the photo and in some rather tragic cases portrays the last photo ever taken of a particular person while they were alive.The most gripping aspect of the book is Gilbertson's personal account and photos of troops in combat in the brutal fight to take Fallujah, Gilbertson still haunted by the traumatic death of a US Marine which could have well have been his own when a squad escorting him to take a photo of a dead insurgent inside a minaret had deadly consequences. At 260 pages this provides enough content you can dive into, as a book on combat photography it is engrossing, tragic and incredible in equal measure.
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot: A Photographer's Chronicle of the Iraq War

#5 SOLDIER: A Visual History of the Fighting Man



Soldier: A Visual History of the Fighting Man, this is one of those "books for boys"that you can easily lose a few hours on with a cup of coffee in your man cave, all 360 pages of it. Dorling Kindersley have a knack of producing some pretty good in depth visual guides, in this case is backed up by tons of historical fact which makes the read through educating to say the least.You could almost look at these books as the literary version of a history museum since the photographic content is done in such a way that it mirrors how museums would normally display their exhibits.Uniforms, equipment and weapons are given close up focus as the book covers the advances in technology and tools that the fighting soldier has come to rely on.
The thing I find most staggering is how far advanced weaponry has become  in the last 150 years, in the American Civil War men fired single load muskets with ball and wadding, now night vision, scopes and optics and computers are forging the battlefield of today.
Everything from the Medieval Knight at Agincourt, British Red Coats at Waterloo to the more recent conflicts such as WWII featuring the weapons and equipment of the 101st Airborne Paratrooper, US Marine in Vietnam and the SAS trooper and tactics of modern day. Visually it combines illustrations, photographs and plenty of text, in short there is a ton of information here for the military enthusiast.
This is a heavyweight coffee table book packed with images, illustrations and historic information and a perfect addition to any home library.Soldier: A Visual History of the Fighting Man is also available from Amazon.

 Got a favourite coffee table book you keep going back to?, I'd love to hear about it in the comments section below so don't be shy, jump in and get the conversation started.